Sex with Melissa Gilbert

First, let me get the rather strange items off the table from the weekend:

• There are hotties that I am smitten with (Shakira, Michelle Pfeiffer). Melissa Gilbert is not one of them. Melissa Gilbert, for those of you under whatever age, was Laura in Little House on the Prairie, which is a childhood favorite of my wife's. So Friday night I have this intricate, long dream about getting it on with an adult Melissa Gilbert (more of the Screen Actors Guild President Melissa Gilbert, not the six year-old). Then the two of us find my wife, and from there it gets kind of blurry what happened in the dream. I can't really refer to her in any other way except for Melissa Gilbert. Now, I did ask my wife if we could have a Little House DVD on when we went to bed Saturday night, but she refused for some reason...
  
• The same evening, I pulled a hamstring in my sleep (more like a strain, but go with me here). In case you needed any more evidence of the sedentary physical spiral of the online poker player, pulling a hamstring in your sleep has to be a fairly good data point. Carpal tunnel is for sissies--real men pull hammies in their sleep after a night at the tables...
  
• In case you ever wondered: how long can you microwave a frozen bottle of Coke? Well, our eight year old now knows that the answer is at least less than three minutes. And the explosion is quite loud.
  
• From pastor's sermon Sunday: Moses and the plagues (with Moses trying to convince the Pharaoh to let the Israelites leave Egypt). The Pharaoh's sorcerers could replicate the first signs of God (turning a staff into a snake, plague of frogs), but could not produce a plague of gnats. Pastor's thought: "I never got that. These guys were like, 'Pharaoh, anyone can do frogs, but gnats? It must be a sign of God.'" Coolest plague to see: frogs. Worst plague (besides first born): boils. I had a boil on the outside of my left knee when I was maybe five or six. My mother mashed it like a zit for about a week, then took me to the doctor. He yelled at her for maybe fifteen minutes (she would have been arrested by Social Services today probably), then got his scalpel out, made one slice, had one push one way, then a second squeeze perpendicular to the first. Out came a 1 1/2" green core with the puss, then finally blood. Parents: never mash the same bump on your kid for more than four consecutive days.
  

Home game Friday night was great. We played $1/2 limit, and we had three winners. Rich who had come last time was up $53 or so, I was up $52, and my wife was the big winner at +$68. I had a couple of bad pots (neighbor to my right calls then calls my raise, flop comes J2x for my set of 2's but he has JJ; I play one hand blind then finally look on the river when it's Rich and myself. 6 on river gives me two pair with my T6, only to lose to Rich's T7 two-pair). My wife isn't aggressive enough, and I talked her into check-raising once. I absolutely believe that pound for pound a woman at the table will be better than the average guy as most guys understimate the ladies. This has nothing to do with my wife: she just has game, always calling down with the marginal best hand, mucking when she's beat. She's the only one I bankroll on a regular basis.

Had a very nice weekend playing in a limited period. Won a second $30+3 SNG in a row Saturday with a couple of suckouts heads up vs. short-stacks (I had raised, short stack comes over the top with another 20% of the pot, so I have to call). I used my brother's advice to get more aggressive vs. the tight table, and it really worked well. Got down last night $200 playing $5/10 at Party, table degraded to heads-up and I made back $150 of that only to be down closer to $100, then I moved to a full table (all at Party). A magical session is an understatement. Here are the stats: 51 hands (didn’t play the last 13), VP$IP: 31.37%, won 11/16 pots I was in. Key hands were

• A9 with four limpers, continuation bet on flop and turn (everyone out with nothing for me but the ace high)--this hand was key for reversing my psyche and keeping me from getting fraidy-scared
• QdJd: I call raise, flop comes As5sTd and I call raiser with one caller, Ks I raise and am called, 4s four flushes the board, but he calls with AcKc
• JJ: I raise and call re-raise with four in the pot, Jd7sQc, there is a check/bet/I raise/re-raise and two of us call, 4c I bet/raised/I three-bet and am called, 8h I bet/called by AA
• 56o: I 'm on a roll and call from the bb, only for UTG to re-raise (so four of us in the pot with three bets); flop comes 48Q, we check to the re-raiser and I call the gutshot with one other caller, A lets me get a free card with check/check/check, and the 7 comes on the river, which I bet and am called by KK.
  
• 88: I re-raise the UTG and he caps it, flop comes 5c7h8c he bets/I raise/he raises/I re-raise/he calls; Jc he bets/I raise/he calls; 3h he bets/I raise/he re-raises/I re-raise/he's all-in. My set beats his QTo nothing (very bizarre hand for sure, but I'll take it)
• First hand is actually a critical hand for me as it kept my confidence up and set up the aggressiveness played into me, I think. The 56o bb call that cracked KK I blame him (he checked the turned A, and I caught the gutshot on the river). The QdJd hand obviously was fortunate to not only not have the flush but then to pay me off with AK with his two pair was nice.

Couple of quick final notes. IGGY has a great, must read post on the state of online gaming in America, including an overview of pending legislation, etc. Brilliant stuff. Bill Rini has a great analysis of ZeeJustin's defense of mulitple accounts at Party. Thanks to BadBlood for directing me there. I'll end this with my weekly Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon blogger trail:

• I'll start with BadBlood. BB is from G-Vegas and regularly mixes local home game stories with solid analytics. Always a nice mix.
• MaudieB: I haven't read her before, but looks like she's part of the blogging elite, lots of Pauly references etc. Forgive me for not knowing much more than that.
• A Chick and a Chair. I've stumbled here before. A nice post on finding a poker mentor, and always nice to find stuff about poker ladies.
• HellaHoldem. More girls. OK, I'm now ashamed of my blog's appearance after seeing this. Great archive organization, lots of good content from a male/female duo (although the lady looks like she does all of the posting). Definitely worth consideration as part of the regular blogs to hit.
• FactGirl. Might have just called this the Ladies of PokerBlogging.
  
• GoFugYourself. Written up in NY Times and WSJ among others, Heather and Jessica make Tony G and Mike the Mouth seem like choir boys when they review celebrity wardrobe sightings. If you like looking at girls and listening to cat fights, then Fug You!